let's talk about being hot and autistic, and some.
Catchy title aside, I'm mostly talking about being a woman and being autistic my experience seems to be a little bit different than most people, and I'm really hoping I can find community.
I grew up in the 90s and was diagnosed at a very young age due to my extreme and apparent learning disability as well as other roller coasters that disability entails.
growing up in Texas in a not quite rural but are not quite urban area has definitely given me a wide perspective on this but it also meant that I was one of two women in my whole school who had autism and grew up with it.
while I was mostly trying to figure out how to think and keep my head on straight I've been mercilessly bullied and attacked for either not understanding or being different as I had been followed around by AIDS keep tabs on me due to the severity of my disability.
it took years before I could read properly, do my alphabet properly eat properly, and all things considered, now I appear to be a high functioning and attractive woman.
before we move on I know high and low functioning is a Hot Topic issue however growing up with this my whole life it really seems to only have been a newer issue in the last time I tried to have a calm discussion with somebody they called me a Nazi and I was probably blocked from the first autistic woman's support group I had ever reached out to and not given any explanations.
when it comes to supporting other women with autism I find it very interesting that lots of people aren't willing to take the time to talk and explain or process these feelings and process the depths behind labels like these without a proper conversation. personally, when it comes to someone's disability I identify myself as high functioning, but with all manners intact, it would be rude to identify anyone else's disability. autism or not. so it's a term I've never used on someone else other than myself, which has fit what I have known for the past 30 years. Nazi comments aside people say that it is dismissive of what my needs actually are and I can see the argument in that however if I'm speaking to somebody on my disability and I label myself as high functioning and they roll their eyes and think I don't need help anymore they're clearly not the person I should be talking to. but I feel like it also implies like a sense of Shame like you should be ashamed to want to be specific on your disability and I will never support being shamed. I'm aware of this opinion is controversial but I have not been in a community in years that has been willing to talk to me please keep this in mind before you make any rash comments especially if you are also autistic I would like for people to have calm discussions on this topic with me for once.
In fact I had that exact conversation with my husband about how just because I'm attractive and I seemingly functioning like everybody else doesn't mean that there isn't things I need help with or things he should be keeping in mind when interacting with me and I think as long as those boundaries are clearly stated I'm having a hard time understanding the issue.
that and being police over my disability that I've had for 30 years has also been very interesting.
I personally think it's important to talk about autism more bluntly though I hesitate to call it blunt but that's what my friends refer to it as because I am a conventionally attractive woman and have autism I've often been dismissed as being a dumb silly bimbo which is really hurtful most women have a really difficult time getting diagnosed and I know getting diagnosed at a young age is a privilege which I won't deny that I definitely have.
but I think it's important to know that with each person you talk to who has autism not all of them are going to be aware of the newest terminology not all of them are going to interact the same way and not all of them are internet savvy.
it took me a long time to find somebody I could date who really understood my autism to the point that I've actually only been in about three long-term relationships. but I would be lying if I didn't say that it was a difficult thing to disclose. I made a point to tell almost everyone who had a romantic interest in me that I have autism but a lot of the responses are you're too pretty to be autistic which is in my opinion a much more hurtful thing than identifying your level of functioning on the Spectrum for your own person.
I think the being pretty and autistic came to a head for me after I finally finished high school and whenever I got into the real world and needed help a lot of my jobs in college professors had this weird distorted look about you can't be autistic you're talking and your pretty. and I'm the only woman in my family with autism but I'm far from the only person with autism and it really upsets me because it also gives me this perspective of so I could only pass off as autistic to you if I were to be ugly?? as if disability needs to follow a beauty standard?
this has extended to work school the online community and I know this diary post has been a little bit all over the place but the goal of this post isn't too upset anyone or spread information most of this is my own opinion and me processing how I process as an autistic woman, it's been a journey it's going to continue to be a journey and I'm going to continue to deal with how I deal but I mostly want to know if anyone else has gone through anything similar to what I've gone through.
In the 90s I was locked in a closet almost everyday for a period of time while I attended school because people were so hands off with disability at the time, I've dealt with enough aggression in my life so if anybody would like to comment please try to be either positive or come from a calm angle, people can have opinions and be opinionated and even have different opinions but not at the cost of malice or aggression especially when it just comes to a woman trying to understand herself and other women.
Stay safe and drop a comment, and if you want to talk to me more, I'd love to make some friends!#autism #autisticadult #autisticwomen #learningdisabilities #kindness #openmindedness
I'm terrified of posting this, lol.
I know the post is kind of been all over the place and is technically talked about multiple topics but I'm really loving the diary aspect of this app and this is how my thoughts go whenever I want to write in my diary. 😅🥲😶🌫️
For many individuals on the autism spectrum, societal misconceptions create additional layers to their experiences. Attractive autistic women often face the dual challenge of combating stereotypes of beauty while managing the expectations of neurotypical society. It's crucial to understand that autism does not conform to traditional beauty standards; rather, every autistic person has their own strengths and challenges. Community support can be vital, as it provides a safe space for sharing experiences, emotions, and coping strategies. Online forums and support groups can facilitate connections among autistic individuals, allowing for discussions that challenge prejudices while fostering understanding. Strategies for advocacy, including promoting awareness and empathy, can dismantle harmful stereotypes. Moreover, sharing personal stories within the community not only validates experiences but also encourages others to voice their challenges. Realizing that many have navigated similar paths – in dating, friendships, and professional environments – can foster a sense of belonging. The discussion about ‘high-functioning’ versus ‘low-functioning’ labels often complicates self-perception and understanding. So engaging in meaningful dialogues around these concepts is crucial for advancing respect and clarity in relationships between autistic individuals and the world around them. Ultimately, embracing one’s identity, regardless of external perceptions, is a powerful act. It promotes authenticity and encourages others to confront their biases, leading to a more inclusive society for all.
Welcome! So excited to see more from you in the future💛