A lot of women say they’re decentering men— but they’re still talking about men every day.

📌 “Men don’t deserve me.”

(Still about men.)

📌 “I’m focusing on myself now.”

(But the focus is still on not focusing on men.)

📌 “Men are so useless.”

(Why are they still the topic?)

If your entire healing journey is about men, you haven’t actually decentered them.

You’ve just made them the villain instead of the prize.

At first, women think awareness = empowerment.

They analyze:

☁️ Why do men do this?

☁️ Why do they love low-effort women?

☁️ Why don’t they respect us?

A lot of women’s healing is still secretly about getting back at men.

📌 “I’m leveling up so I never settle again.”

📌 “I’m healing so men regret losing me.”

📌 “I’m becoming the kind of woman men can’t have.”

But if the end goal of your growth still involves a man, you’re still orbiting around them.

Do you know who you are outside of your experiences with men?

Most women know:

📌 Who they are when they’re heartbroken.

📌 Who they are when they’re proving their worth.

📌 Who they are when they’re avoiding love.

Real healing happens when:

Your next move isn’t a reaction to them.

Your life isn’t about proving anything.

You’re not just “choosing yourself” to show you’re choosing yourself.

Decentering men isn’t just seeing their flaws.

It’s not needing to study them at all.

Who are you when men are no longer a point of reference?

Link in bio for the article ❤️