Why do we have some strange habits that are unsolvable?
Have you ever said why we have some strange habits that can't be solved?
Ping once noticed himself and talked to a close friend about the cause of some of our habits and his that it should have come from a knot in childhood, but the answer was, "The past doesn't matter. Look at the present."
The sentence made Ping come back and study the matter more seriously because he felt that the answer was simply to run away and not to face the truth until he found it in psychology and brain science...The crux of childhood is the blueprint that manipulates life, and it really affects us today.
And it's also true that pretending to be invisible and keep living, it's just running away from pain, which can help us "survive" each day...But the question is, do we really want to survive or be happy?
Today, Ping wants to invite everyone to stop running and explore themselves first through 5 popular Red Flags and Causes so you can understand yourself and go back and heal that little boy:
🔴 1. Like to lose yourself (People Pleaser) or rely on yourself too much (Hyper-Independent).
These two poles often come from the same root. One person refuses to bear everyone's suffering because he thinks that "he will only have value when he benefits others," and the other person carries everything, does not ask anyone for help, because when he was a child, he never had a safe space, so he refused to be afraid of people who do not love, he would carry everyone's suffering, because deep down in his heart he thought that "we will only have value when we benefit others."
🔴 2. Hyper-Control Addiction or Chronic Self-Doubt
Some people have to control everything around their plans, peers, or even other people's emotions. If they are wrong, they will be the most anxious because they grew up in a house that is unpredictable and unsafe, while others do not dare to choose anything. Small things must ask others all the time because they are deeply afraid of mistakes. From doing something, they are scolded or decided instead since childhood.
🔴 3. Emotional Numbing
It looks like a person who is still, anything is comfortable, but the other angle is that you are inaccessible to your emotions, do not know what you really like, when you are angry, or if you are sad. This habit stems from childhood, when you express your feelings and are ignored or scolded, so that your brain chooses to "switch off" your emotions to protect yourself from pain.
🔴 4. Attracted to Toxicity or Avoidant.
Why do we often love the mean person, the person who neglects feelings, or when we start to get close to someone deeply uncomfortable, paranoid, and relegate him first? Psychologically, that's because our brain often runs towards "childhood familiarity," even if the familiarity is full of pain or fear of being dumped as in the past.
🔴 5. Pessimistic and paranoid (Cynicism)
Set up a high wall, paranoid that no one is sincere, everyone comes in to hope for benefits, and is constantly preparing for disappointment. This habit is a defense mechanism that stems from repeated disappointments in the past, especially from the people we should be able to trust the most in life.
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💡🛠️ How to "send a safety signal" to the body to stop remembering the knot:
Going beyond the Childhood Trauma / Emotional Wounds is one of the most courageous and time-consuming journeys in human life, because these knots are often not just in memory, but deep in our nervous systems, ways of thinking, and relationships as we grow up.
Looking back at past wounds may seem daunting, but if one day you're ready...Here's a step-by-step approach to healing the little kid hidden in you.
1. Recognize, see and recognize that the wound exists.
Many people try to transcend it by telling themselves, "It's passed," or "Others find it harder than us," but that's compression.
• What to do: Look and honestly admit to yourself that what we experienced in childhood was really painful and that it resulted in us being like this today (e.g. fear of being dumped, fear of rejection, feeling that we are not good enough or like to allow others to maintain a relationship) Allowing ourselves to be angry, sad is the first step to unlocking.
2. Distinguish the "past" from the "present" (Disentangle the Timeline), the present is the present.
• What to do: Understand Remind Yourself Often "Now That We're Grown Up" We have the right, voice and power to choose 100% of our lives. People in the past can't hurt us anymore.
3. Reparenting Your Inner Child
When people in the past did not give us what we wanted (such as unconditional love, praise, or safety), we in our adult years would act as "new parents" for ourselves.
• What to do: "It's okay, you're very good," "You didn't do anything wrong," "From now on, I'll protect you." You're the best, you deserve good things.
4. Release the Expectation
Most of the knots are locked in the deep expectation that "someday the person who hurt us or our parents will understand and apologize or accept us."
• What to do: Accept the harsh truth but set us free is that "he may never change and never understand us." As long as we tie our own happiness to an apology that will never come, we are still prisoners of the past. Letting go of this hope is not to forgive him, but to bring back the life force to ourselves.
5.Dare to set boundaries (Boundary): Get yourself out of the toxic environment.
• What to do: Retreat to protect the mind itself - even if that thing is a family man - it's not ingratitude, it's the first duty we need to do to preserve this body and mind.
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Looking back at the knot is not a return to pain, nor is it a deletion of the past, for we cannot change what has happened...
But it's about embracing and telling that kid in the past, "It's okay. Now your life is yours. You're safe today, and I'll take care of you."
And one day, when we look back, we will look in the mirror with pride...We've been through a mean past, and we've chosen to grow up to be kind to ourselves today. 🤍
# lemon 8 diary # msdarans # Develop yourself # Innerchild # Psychology
หลายคนอาจไม่รู้ตัวว่าปมวัยเด็กที่ยังไม่ได้รับการเยียวยาสามารถส่งผลต่อนิสัยและพฤติกรรมที่ไม่พึงประสงค์ในชีวิตประจำวันได้จริงๆ ประสบการณ์ส่วนตัวของฉันเองก็สะท้อนเรื่องนี้ เมื่อได้ย้อนกลับมาทบทวนอดีตพบว่าปัญหาและความเจ็บปวดในวัยเด็กที่ถูกละเลย เป็นเหมือนรอยแผลลึกที่ยังคงทำให้เกิดพฤติกรรมที่หลบหนีความเจ็บปวด เช่นการพยายามควบคุมทุกอย่าง หรือการกลัวการถูกปฏิเสธ ซึ่งทั้งหมดนี้ไม่ได้แค่เรื่องของนิสัยธรรมดา แต่เป็นกลไกป้องกันตัวเองของสมองที่เรียนรู้มาตั้งแต่เด็กเพื่อความอยู่รอด สิ่งที่สำคัญคือการให้โอกาสตัวเองที่จะยอมรับและมองเห็นแผลในใจอย่างซื่อสัตย์ การทำ Reparenting หรือการเยียวยาเด็กน้อยภายใน เป็นขั้นตอนที่ช่วยให้เราได้รับสิ่งที่ขาดหายไปในอดีต เช่นความรักและความปลอดภัย ซึ่งทำให้เกิดความเข้าใจต่อพฤติกรรมและรู้จักรักตัวเองมากขึ้น นอกจากนี้ การตั้งขอบเขตและเรียนรู้ที่จะปล่อยวางความคาดหวังที่ไม่สมจริง ก็เป็นอีกวิธีสำคัญในการฟื้นฟูจิตใจ การยอมรับว่าบางสิ่งอาจไม่มีวันเปลี่ยนแปลงได้จริง ทำให้เราปลดปล่อยตัวเองจากความทุกข์ที่ถูกกักเก็บไว้ และช่วยเปิดโอกาสให้เราเติบโตอย่างแท้จริง ท้ายที่สุด การเผชิญหน้ากับปมวัยเด็กไม่ใช่การกลับไปจมอยู่ในความทรงจำที่เจ็บปวด แต่มันคือการหยิบมือเด็กคนนั้นขึ้นมาและบอกกับเขาว่า "เธอปลอดภัยในวันนี้" ซึ่งนั่นจะเป็นจุดเริ่มต้นของการเปลี่ยนแปลงนิสัยแปลกๆ ที่เคยเป็นปัญหาของเรา ให้กลายเป็นชีวิตที่มีความสุขและเป็นตัวของตัวเองได้มากขึ้นอย่างแท้จริง แนะนำว่าใครที่กำลังเผชิญกับนิสัยที่อยากแก้ไขแต่ไม่สำเร็จ ลองหันกลับไปทบทวนอดีตและเรียนรู้ที่จะเยียวยาบาดแผลภายในใจอย่างใจเย็นและด้วยความรักต่อตนเอง รับรองว่าจะเห็นการเปลี่ยนแปลงที่ลึกซึ้งและยั่งยืนมากกว่าเดิม
