A letter for when I felt scared but did it anyway
📮This year, i turned 29.
And i have been thinking about all the things i wish someone had told me - not to fix anything, but to simply say: ‘i see you’ or, ‘this is a valid feeling’.
So here are 29 letters to myself. Maybe to you too.
Dear you,
It is normal to feel scared of things you have done, and am not good at. It is normal to be scared of being judged - the world is a judgemental place, don’t doubt that. You are a part of the world, and there will be people who are more judgemental than you, and likewise, less judgemental than you.
People always tell you, don’t be afraid of being bad because no one is watching you. Everybody is focused on themselves. But that doesn’t make sense - because you are watching others. So how are you to trust that no one is watching you? Perhaps there is someone else who is like you, and this someone is now watching you.
So be nervous, be afraid, be mindful that people might judge you. Don’t let others delude you into thinking otherwise. Because you will never believe them anyway. They are not you; they don’t realise how much you see and hence, how much you wonder about what others see.
But do it anyway.
I cannot tell you that there is really no one watching you - because there are hahaha. But i can tell you, that you will eventually get better at it.
Take spin for an example. This is the one exercise that you are curious about, but am so scared of. Because there is so much to be aware of - how to set up the bike, how to get up the bike like the short queen you are, and the scariest of all: how to clip and unclip the shoes!!
Be scared of people watching you - because they are hahaha that’s their job. Be nervous when no one noticed that you are struggling in that dark room and suddenly class feels like it is going to start soon and you have not even clipped on your shoes!! Be worried that you cannot get out of bike because your weak-ass left foot is worried about breaking again and hence doesn’t want to cooperate with snapping off the shoes. Be conscious of the fact that even though you are in a beginner’s class, half the class are “regulars” and clearly do not need to be in a beginner’s class.
But you know what? Eventually you will make it. You will still make it up the bike, you (or someone else) will manage to clip and unclip your shoes. Even if you are the most unfit person in class, you will still get through the hour - sweaty and proud.
And after a few times, you will realise that you know how to set up your bike alone (even if not perfect), you know how to clip and unclip your shoes (best feeling ever!) and you know how to breathe properly during class so that you last the entire class.
It sounds so cliche to say this, but you will realise that cliches are cliches for a reason - because they are true. No one is perfect at something that they are trying out for the first time. And eventually, as you keep doing it, you will get better at it. You might never be the best or be amazing at it (see: pilates and planks), but you will feel proud of yourself for doing it anyway. I wish i could tell you that you managed to get the grip of spin after 2 classes, but you didn’t hahaha. But i can tell you that you did it in less than 5 classes. And that’s all you need to remember:
Give yourself 5 chances. Do it even when you feel scared, when you feel nervous. Do it even when you feel judged, when you feel like the world is watching it. Do it because you want to. Do it because one day, you will look back at yourself and feel proud that you kept showing up for yourself.
At the end of this letter, i just want to remind you that what you are feeling is valid. Feeling nervous and scared is valid. Feeling that people will judge you is also valid. But keep doing it anyway. Because you will look back at yourself and feel so proud of yourself, for choosing to do the difficult thing. Because you didn’t allow fear to stop you from doing something you wanted to do.
And i will be here, to cheer you on. To celebrate your win. And maybe, judge you a little. But mostly, i will be very proud of you.
You go, girl.
Love,
pf
Feeling scared and judged is a universal experience, especially when trying something new or stepping outside comfort zones. This letter highlights the importance of validating those emotions rather than dismissing them. Psychologists emphasize that acknowledging fear and anxiety helps reduce their power over us and can motivate positive action. The concept of "doing it anyway" despite fear aligns with the principle of exposure therapy, where gradual, repeated exposure to a feared situation decreases the anxiety associated with it. The example of learning spin cycling vividly illustrates how initial nervousness, such as struggling to clip in shoes or set up equipment, gives way to competence and pride with consistent effort. Celebrating small wins and giving oneself multiple chances (five in this case) to overcome obstacles can build confidence and resilience. Moreover, the letter touches on social anxiety — the fear of being judged — which research shows is often overestimated. People tend to pay less attention to others than we assume. Being aware that there are both more and less judgemental people reminds us to manage expectations of social scrutiny. Incorporating these lessons into daily life involves mindful self-compassion: recognizing that "feeling nervous and scared is valid" reduces self-criticism and encourages perseverance. This mindset fosters motivation driven by personal meaning rather than external validation. Finally, the letter’s tone of supportive self-coaching combined with humor creates an authentic and relatable message. Sharing such vulnerability helps normalize common emotional challenges and inspires others to "keep showing up" for themselves. This builds a strong foundation for ongoing personal development and self-esteem enhancement.
Wow this letter was really good and resonated well with me. Firstly, the spin fear is so relatable. Feeling judged, feeling that I’m not in the best outfit, not knowing how to adjust my bike or struggling to clip in and out of the shoe. Tried a few times and still can’t rmb but at least I know I Actl don’t enjoy spin itself. And yes, also tryna tell myself to have such a perspective that I should feel proud of myself for just turning up for my pilates classes or even having the courage to try diff cp classes alone. I think we all need to focus on ourself more and stop feeling like everyone is judging us although they might be but is a fraction of how much we actl really think it is✨