Do you sometimes pretend to understand but don't?

Any time I have a new job and I'm being trained. They go through hours of things to know and I just nod my head and try really hard to not get distracted. Most times I retain maybe half or less of what they said and make up the rest. Sometimes I have to ask people 2-3 times to repeat themselves and I still have no idea what was said... So I just nod. It turns out to be super awkward if they were asking something that prompted a legitimate response because I still had no idea what an appropraite reply would be lol... Does anyone else do this too?

#Letschat #Asklemon8 #Stirthepot #Pretending

2025/9/4 Edited to

... Read moreOh my goodness, I thought I was the only one! Reading this made me feel so seen. The struggle of sitting through a training session, getting hit with a tidal wave of information, and just instinctively starting to nod along, even when your brain is screaming 'WHAT?!' is incredibly real. You're trying so hard not to get distracted, but then suddenly they're on topic three, and you're still stuck on topic one, pretending to understand someone after multiple repetitions. It’s like an automatic response, isn't it? That fear of looking clueless or interrupting the flow often makes us default to just nodding. I remember a time during a new software rollout. The trainer was going through features at lightning speed, and everyone else seemed to be following. I was just nodding, my internal monologue frantically trying to catch up. I kept thinking, 'If I ask now, I'll hold everyone up.' Then came the dreaded, 'Any questions?' And silence. So I just nodded again, along with everyone else. Later, when I actually had to use the software, I realized I’d absorbed maybe 10% of it. The time I wasted trying to figure it out on my own, or asking colleagues privately, far outweighed the 'embarrassment' of asking a question during the session. Why do we do this? I think it's a mix of social conditioning, a desire to appear competent, and sometimes, genuine overwhelm. We think just nodding will get us through, but often it leads to more confusion down the line. It's a tricky habit to break, especially when you're trying to make a good impression, like in a new job. That moment when you realize they've asked a direct question that requires an actual response, not just a nod, and you’re completely blank? Priceless (and mortifying!). I've been actively trying to change this habit. Instead of just nodding at someone when I'm lost, I try to use phrases like, 'Could you walk me through that one more time, maybe with an example?' or 'I want to make sure I've got this right – are you saying X or Y?' Sometimes, I even preface it with, 'This might be a basic question, but...' It’s incredible how often others in the room will sigh in relief because they had the same question! Writing things down, even if it's just key terms, also helps to keep me engaged and gives me something to refer back to. It’s about shifting from passive receipt to active learning, even if it feels a bit uncomfortable at first. It's a journey, but I'm learning that it's far better to clarify in the moment than to stumble later. So, if you're like me and often just nod, remember you're not alone! What strategies have you found helpful to move beyond the 'nodding game'?

15 comments

Marie-Louise's images
Marie-Louise

This is me asf, I started working at a warehouse n my first few wks there was terror cuz it made me so anxious, during one of my shift the manager asked me to do something and ofcourse I didn’t hear him so I asked him to repeat himself three times n I still couldn’t hear so I just did what I thought he might’ve asked n I c him looking at me so I start panicking cuz I know I’m not doing what he asked n then my friend comes to me n tells me what he actually said and I felt so so stupid n my heart started racing n heavy breathing n I went to the bathroom to cry n left the shift early 🙂

hey.j's images
hey.j

I have bad hearing to begin with and in a noisy enviro it's so hard to hear lol. I understand tho, I get distracted to on top of that and have to really focus on what someone is saying, like in class

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