THINGS I DID NOT EXPECT WHEN GOING TO COLLEGE

okay okay okay, i could make this list way way longer but those were just a few.

now let’s dive a bit deeper :)

🩵 cost of living

i go to a school in pittsburgh so it’s a pretty big city & campus is in a really nice area. the cost of living in the city compared to back home is crazy!! gas is like 30¢ more at least & driving a gas guzzler, it gets expensive. & i only drive to physical therapy or doctors appointments. there’s a huge nice mall close to campus (with a lulu store) & that’s the place majority of my money went but at least im helping the economy.

the dining hall on campus doesn’t have the best food (your girl has ibd & ibs, not sure how i have both but i do) & it’s onto open for certain hours of the day which really sucks when trying to fit in time to go and eat especially when you’re a student athlete. so i spent a lot of money on groceries or going out for food.

🩵 making friends & mean girls

it was HARD! i was very lucky to be blessed with an amazing roommate & we are besties but not everyone is genuine. it’s important to know that the friends you make early on your freshman year won’t be your forever friends. make sure you set boundaries on what you want in a friend, make sure you live up to those qualities, and your friend group will be a lot less toxic. for example, if you want a friend that is trustworthy or positive, you must also be trustworthy and positive. never make people live up to a standard you cannot also live up to!!!

mean girls are there, even though this isn’t high school, trust me. i have always had trouble keeping friends in high school & it wasn’t due to the lack of effort, it was mainly because we did not mesh well together & they simply were mean girls. i’d much rather be alone than be surrounded by girls who don’t support girls. my experience in high school has allowed me to see red flags sooner & read people better so trust your instinct. don’t change yourself to fit in with certain people, it’s not worth it.

🩵 being in charge of yourself

i knew that i was going to have more freedom and time than i did in high school. i wasn’t in the constant loop of the structure of a high school schedule (starting at 7:45am and getting out at 2:30pm). but with this new found time and freedom, i had to make priorities & stick to them. although this freedom & time greatly improved my mental health, i had to make sure i was still being in charge of myself & what i needed to do.

make a schedule, set priorities, and stick to it.

i only had 3 in person classes for the spring semester & 3 online, that was a lot of free time i had. but i always set a priority to get my online schoolwork done as soon as it was posted & had to be done with it before thursday (assignments were due sunday). i made sure i got my physical therapy in early on my off days & set my priorities in a list of what was a super pressing matter & what wasn’t in such a hurry to be done.

freedom is good, free time is good, self care is good, but you must make & stick to your priorities to even get those things. stressing during your free time isn’t self care, get your stuff done first & relax later.

🩵 homesick or not?

if i am going to be honest, i wasn’t homesick at all when i was on campus and that’s okay. i only got homesick after coming back from breaks and that’s okay. if you are homesick, that’s okay. figure out what is making you homesick & trying to do what you can to make it better.

i missed my dogs & cat a lot and that’s probably the only reason i truly got homesick over. i didn’t have that weight on the end of my bed where my dog would sleep and i didn’t have someone constantly there with never ending love. but i had facetime & i had holiday breaks where i could go home and visit.

being homesick is okay, it just means you have something that’s precious to you waiting at home.

🩵 seasonal depression

i will not lie, in high school, my seasonal depression was TERRIBLE. i live in a gloomy little city that has nothing to do and was in that constant high school schedule loop. being away from that, in a bigger city with things to do and people i truly wanted to be around, made it so much better. living with someone 24/7 helped a lot because i wasn’t alone much & that is a big thing that would feed my depression especially as an introvert.

the freedom college gave me helped tremendously, doing the schoolwork i actually was interested in helped, being around friends helped, doing things helped, being in a different environment helped.

seasonal depression and depression itself can look different for everyone, especially in college. it could be bad for some or better for others. if get are battling depression or any other mental health issues, there are always people to help you. my biggest advice is to change up your normal routine, do something different or new, don’t be alone even if you really just want me rot in your bed. i believe in you, you can always message me if you need anything!

🩵 the partying & dating scene

this was something definitely interesting for me especially since im not a huge partier. i go to a smaller private school so i didn’t really expect anything crazy with parties but there are parties here! it’s definitely the athletes that party & hangout with each other so it was definitely something interesting to experience. i wanted to meet new people, have fun, & hangout with friends so i definitely went to these gatherings. (the school is so small it’s basically just everyone hanging out to music 😂) as long as you are safe, know your limits, have a safe person, you will be okay. my roommate & i always checked up on each other majority of the time to make sure we were good so definitely have a safe person!

you don’t have to party if you don’t want to, you also can if you want. if you do, be smart and make wise decisions. if you’re going out to bars or other campuses, go with people you know & trust who have your best interest in mind.

the dating scene is definitely interesting. i went into college without a boyfriend (which im glad). i didn’t have the stress of having to adjust to my new surroundings & basically new life while trying to give all my attention to someone who was or wasn’t going to the same school as me.

i won’t lie & say i wasn’t on the dating apps but i wasn’t really looking for anything serious. just to go on some dates & meet new people & experiences new things in the city. i don’t do hook ups or anything (if you do, that’s up to you).

i met my now boyfriend the first party of fall semester but we didn’t start dating until december. i’m glad i waited 3 months because i wanted to make sure this is something we both wanted, we were both past the butterflies & rainbows of talking to someone, and that we wanted to truly be together. it’s also worth mentioning i was in a pretty bad relationship during my junior and most of my senior year of high school, i wanted to make sure i was mentally ready to be with someone again on a serious level. i date to marry so it was very important to me to take the time to get to know him, his values, his personality, etc. and i couldn’t be happier now.

i wouldn’t recommend starting to date someone until at least the end of your first semester in college. make sure you are well adjusted to school, you have your priorities and your boundaries, and you’re mentally capable of being in a relationship. follow the 3 month rule, trust me. you want to make sure you have a good person, not someone who’s toxic. situationships aren’t it, especially with how stressful college can get!!

🩵 feeling alone

i will be honest, i felt alone a lot. i was close to a lot of good people the first semester of college but once the spring semester hit, it was hard to stay close. and it’s no fault of anyone’s but when coursework is overwhelming & you have a busy schedule, it’s easy to be more isolated and to feel alone.

but with the people i wasn’t as close with anymore, i made more and new friends within my major and classes. it is hard to stay super close to people who are in completely different majors than you because of opposing class schedules and just life but it is possible. but i strongly recommend befriending people in your major and classes. it helped me feel less alone when i was piled up with schoolwork & projects & exams. having people to study with, ask questions, and just be friends with in class is super amazing & is definitely helping you form early connections for your later career! i also got super close with my boyfriend’s friends and their girlfriends! it was super fun to go out with them or go to baseball games with them.

your friend group can and will change, make sure your spending your time with people who fill you with happiness, not drain you of it.

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